Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Who was I?

Here is my 5 minute brain dump as part of this great series.

Here goes …

Just this weekend I was talking to a friend who was commenting on how, now that she is pregnant, she is annoyed that the peanut inside her belly is risking her whole identity.  Basically, she is the exact same person she has always been, just with a baby growing in her belly yet many think she has, or should change. It made me think a lot about if I changed.

Yes, I changed. I changed when I got pregnant. I hope I didn’t become a smug pregnant woman but I know I changed. My outlook changed, my plans for the future changed.  When my darling BiP was born I changed some more. I don’t know if it’s for better or for worse but I changed.

I can’t be the exact same person I was pre-pregnancy because that person didn’t have someone else who relied on her completely. Also, I don’t look the same either! My overstretched body is not back to where it was and I wonder if it ever could be.

BUT. I am still me. I just look at the world slightly differently. Often I crave the chase of starting a new business with the same enthusiasm and gusto – I miss the carefree nights of staying up into the small hours safe in the knowledge that I had nothing to do the next day or lounging by the pool whiling away my time with a trashy novel … now it’s thinking of new business ideas … jotting them down, careful planning, LONG timelines – earlish nights and if I dare to stay up late I know I’ll pay at 6am and well, lying by the pool ends up with BiP ripping my top off and my book, if I am stupid enough to take it to the pool, in the the water!

Have you changed since getting pregnant and having a baby and how?

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

 

14 Responses to Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Who was I?

  1. Yup, I’ve definitely changed, even though I didn’t think I would. When I was pregnant, I complained about how being pregnant had changed me, but I thought it was just temporary and once the baby was here, I’d go back to being me. I used to love staying up late, going out for cocktails with friends, laying out by the pool, having great, hard workouts. Being pregnant stopped all of that. Once my son arrived, though, I didn’t go back to normal, I changed even more. Like you said, I just look at the world differently now and all my priorities have changed. I don’t regret a thing about it, though, so I try to focus on all the wonderful things I’ve gained instead of those carefree moments I’ve lost.

    • mummyinprovence says:

      That’s a great way of looking at it … I do the same most of the time but I do sometimes ponder my former life!

  2. I have changed as well since my pregnancy and becoming a mom! You now have this little person who relies on you for basically everything. I agree, I just look at the world slightly differently and that is not a bad thing. I am still me with a baby girl! Your SOC was great! 🙂

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Thanks! Yeah, I think a lot of people think you become a mother and that’s it – you are no longer you … I view myself as many things – a multi-faceted person which has an important role as a mummy amongst a LONG list of other things!

  3. I changed. A lot.

    But now that my daughter is seven (almost eight) I find that I’m changing again. Not exactly back to the person I was before, but still different than I was seven years ago with a newborn.

    • mummyinprovence says:

      How interesting. I can imagine that yes, you would change again. Especially as now your daughter’s needs are different and the time constraints are different.
      Thanks for commenting and making me realise that this really is a journey and we are constantly evolving!

  4. Yes I’ve changed, but for the better, I think! ;)It’s hard though, even though I’m 32, I still feel like I’m a kid, not an adult. It’s strange to think of myself as an adult, as a mother. I have 2 children, I do my best to keep them healthy and happy. Yup, I’ve changed. I’ve definitely grown up since carrying a life within. I think of them first and foremost. I stop sometimes and just stare at them (my boys) and just wonder how the heck is it that I’ve made something so beautiful. It’s then that I realize the changes in me. I have different priorites. First and foremost, my main goal is to have a healthy and happy family. It’s not all about me anymore!

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Haha Jocelyn! I know what you mean about feeling like a kid … I have serious Peter Pan syndrome at times.
      Thank you for your beautiful comment … you are so right, it’s no longer about us!

  5. Yes, I have changed. At first, when I had Nya I wanted to believe that I could be one of the few women who stayed the same after children. I wanted to continue at my job at all costs. I wanted to love my child but not so much that it would interfere with my (ahem) better “judgement.” I accepted the weight gain that came with pregnancy but tried my earnest to lose it all as soon as possible. It was insane. With time and acceptance that change is not always a bad thing, I’ve come to embrace the new me and even appreciate her more than the old me. In accepting my changed life, I think I’ve also been able to embrace motherhood and my child (who means the world to me) even more. It’s been an amazing journey, one that I wouldn’t trade for anything!

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Do you think anyone can really stay the exact same person + child? I definitely felt the same way as wanting to do it all until I crashed into a sobbing wreck around 4 months after BiP was born … I couldn’t do it all and I was tired and unhappy … so I quit the gym because a happy chubby mummy is better than a grumpy slightly less chubby one and I started outsourcing non essential tasks.
      Accepting the change is key to being able to fully embrace the new adventure!

  6. I am NOT someone that people expected to have kids. I never wanted any until I met my husband, and people were a bit shell shocked when I announced my pregnancy. Although it was expected, I did find their blatant surprise annoying if not insulting. I hated (and still hate) the assumptions that I must be a different person altogether just because I chose to have a baby.

    I really love how these stream of consciousness posts show so much more of you and your personality. 🙂

    • mummyinprovence says:

      So you didn’t change?

      Glad you like the posts … are they that telling?

      • I feel like I changed in what I show people I guess? Having a baby wasn’t a big emotional change for me but it was a side of me that I don’t show to everyone so I get why it was a bit shocking. I was formerly a party girl and am very snarky & sarcastic in person.

        Yes the posts are kind of telling, but in a great way!

  7. I think becoming a parent changes everyone to some degree. For me, it was a huge change. I got pregnant when I was 17 and I had a lot of growing up to do to raise my daughter.

    The thing is, now my daughter is “grown” and has left the nest. I always thought that once she left home, I’d go back to being the me I used to be. I didn’t.

    I spent the first few months crying and struggling with empty-nest depression. Once I came out of that, I realized that I just didn’t know WHO I was anymore and have since been on a quest to find out (enter blogging).

    We identify ourselves so much with our children, and being a parent, for so long, sometimes it’s hard to go back.

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