Today BiP is 9 months old. We reached a breastfeeding milestone that I never thought we’d manage; 9 months!

I can’t say it has been an easy journey but it certainly has been a rewarding one. Countless people have questioned, and even scorned, my breastfeeding BiP – not that it has been anyone’s business!

The pain, the cracked nipples, the agonising feeds, of the early days which left me totally exasperated, covered in lanolin, and mostly topless, have faded into the past. Over supply and forceful let down led me to the local milk bank where I donated all the excess milk BiP couldn’t consume. Months later I was still dealing with excruciating pain whenever I fed on one side, tests and scans proved inconclusive and was probably due to bad latch that was too late to correct – the advice I was given was to wean as my milk had no nutritional value and it was abnormal to breastfeed at 7 months old … ummm … thanks! Last week I dealt with my first bite, wow, no one tells you how much that is going to hurt, but what hurt more was the look on BiP’s face when I told her that biting wasn’t going to work and that we would have to stop feeding if she continued – it made me cry, both from the physical pain and the thought of stopping so soon. But, as always, we figured it out and we are back on track.

Fortunately I have been lucky enough to use the negative comments and turn them into a positive and continue with what I felt was right… The internet is a precarious world with, often faceless, people there to throw support your way and I have been encouraged by so many people I know only by screen names yet their support has been invaluable! Now that we’ve reached this milestone I have decided that I’ll be leaving it up to BiP to decide how much longer we continue!

Thank you to all those mama’s (and a couple of dad’s) for all your support in getting us to where we are today!

Hoorah! Finally a breastfeeding article that rings true! How refreshing! 

Breastfeeding works. It just doesn’t have a big budget to promote itself, and as a society we’ve forgotten that the very best is sometimes what nature gives us for free.

Joanna Moorhead article “It’s time to stop knocking breastfeeding”  in today’s Guardian wrote “breastfeeding is not just a way of nourishing your baby – it’s also about a relationship, it’s about security, and it’s about loving”.  It is so true.

Sadly, most people, when they learn about the fact you are breastfeeding are more concerned about when you are going to stop! Not that it is anyone’s business, but it seems to be the question on everyone’s mind when they see a breastfeeding mother.

The article is so perfectly written I can’t add more … so I leave you with this final

“What a tragedy that is: if breast milk was invented today, it would be the most valuable patent of all time. Nothing on earth has the potential to transform a generation’s health as much as breast milk, yet we undermine it simply because no one stands to make a profit and the budgets to defend it are minuscule. Breastfeeding works: the only thing we have to fix is our belief in it.”

During my pregnancy I had the romantic idea that breastfeeding was going to be a sublime experience; beautiful, intimate and above all easy. I knew I wanted to breastfeed and didn’t explore any other options – I was actually excited about breastfeeding my child. I attended meetings about breastfeeding, excitedly purchased my nursing bras, nursing pads and a tiny tube of lanolin ointment (just in case I needed it) and I was all set to fulfil that ideal in my mind of being the next Madonna and child. All my preconceptions were shattered the day my baby was born.

The moment my daughter came into this world she was sucking, hard. She latched on to my breast like a pro and sucked for hours. I was so elated at having given birth to a foodie (like her parents) that I failed to notice that she was destroying my nipples because of improper latch.  In the early days each feed got harder than the last. I’d cry when she cried because I was so terrified of having my tiny baby, who fed like a barracuda, back on my breast but I had to feed her. I would grit my teeth and wrestle my newborn baby into all sorts of bizarre positions in an attempt to ease the pain and give her the milk she needed. Before and after every feed I would cover my nipples in lanolin – they were ugly, deformed, cracked and very, very sore – I spent the first weeks of my daughter’s life topless and it was far, far from anything sexy – how could this be normal?
Some people told me it was not normal. That breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt especially after 2 weeks. I felt I had failed. I was miserable. It DID hurt. I turned to friends and family for their advice and support to only realise that they too, had forgotten the pain or obviously took to breastfeeding like a duck to water.  I was lucky enough to have one friend who told me to ignore everyone, yes it hurts and pain has no time limit – as long as the baby was gaining weight my pain was secondary and it was only temporary.  The day my tiny baby threw up pink (because I was so cracked and sore she had swallowed blood with my milk) I realised why so many women give up breastfeeding.

However, I was determined not to give up. I found that as my daughter got bigger the feeding got easier – I am not sure if its because we managed to find better feeding positions, or her latch improved allowing me to heal or it was a combination of those things.  For me, it took a good 2 months to be able to say that breastfeeding no longer hurts and its actually become enjoyable. I can assure you that I never thought I’d ever be able to say that.
I tried pumping so I could give myself a break and a chance to heal but my daughter would never accept the bottle despite all our efforts. It was back to me, and only me to feed her which was time consuming and hard especially when you are tired, hungry, need the bathroom (and sometimes all 3 at the same time)
Now when an expectant mother asks me what they can do to get themselves ready for breastfeeding I encourage them to read up on it. Usually they have the same notion that I did. Only thing that may have helped me with feeding my little barracuda baby would have been to take the Dyson and attach it to my breasts for 6+ hours a day!

Today I look at my healthy baby girl with her delicious chubby cheeks and that is all the motivation I needed to persevere and get through the pain. Whilst I do not liken myself to a 21st century Madonna with child, my romantic notion that I had pre-baby as far as breastfeeding was concerned aren’t as far fetched as I thought when I first started. As cliché as it sounds, the phrase “no pain, no gain” certainly rings true for me and my milk monkey!