Today I came across an awesome blog post by The Mommyologist called The Reality of Post-Partum Mom Sexy who tells it like it is! Like so many, I aspired to be a MILF within seconds of giving birth, when, in reality I was anything but! Images of celebs who are back to their pre-pregnancy shape within weeks were all I clung to in the first few days but they are the exception, the very, VERY annoying, irritating exception.

I cried when BiP was a month old because I was still huge and in my maternity clothes. I was told in my breastfeeding class that if I breastfed I would lose the weight  faster – that was not the case. My friends told me that by the time BiP was 3 months I would start losing weight. 3 months came and went, I cried again. I joined a gym. I tried a diet, it hit my milk, I felt stupid, I had to eat. I resigned myself to being a “Yummy Mummy”. I had to accept that I was not going to be one of the lucky ones who had their baby weight melt off. Well, maybe melt is the right word. BiP’s weight has always equaled my weight loss … lucky me – she’ll be 3 by the time I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight!

Here are some tips for handling post-partum body distress …

1.  You will still be fat after giving birth
– your belly MIGHT be softer but it will certainly be there

2.  Those who tell you that breastfeeding will help you regain your body faster are liars. Yes, for some it does but for many it doesn’t. Yes, it burns an extra 500 calories a day but you will be HUNGRY if you are feeding a little milk monkey. The insatiable hunger I had in the early days, and sometimes still do, will probably exceed the extra 500 calories recommended.

3.  Some (stupid) people may ask if you are pregnant again months after you have given birth – try not to cry, insult (or hit) them – they just lack social skills.

4.  DON’T be so hard on yourself – bringing a new life into this world is a huge responsibility and as long as you are healthy that is the focus for now.

5.  Find support from Yummy Mummy’s – Avoid MILF’s at all costs. They will just make you depressed and jealous – which you don’t have time for right now.

6.  Try not to hang on to other people’s experiences – they belong to other people – not you (and remember celebs have Photoshop).

7.  When having photo’s taken of you and your baby focus in on the breasts up – you’ll probably have a cleavage to die for and the empty, protruding belly will be out of the frame.

8.  Wear your baby – when you are wearing your baby no one can see your body.

9.  Accept the fact that when you are with your baby no one is looking at you.

10.  Go shopping for scarves, bags and make-up – it doesn’t matter what size you are.

I hold on to the fact that I won’t be like this forever … so I am promised by many mothers who have been in the same position!