Here is my 5 minute brain dump as part of this great series. Here goes …
Just today my husband and I were discussing the issue of discipline. BiP is 17m old and is obviously into everything. As an energetic toddler she needs boundaries.
The subject of discipline is a serious subject. Neither of us want to smack or hit her.
Instead we want to try and use the power of our voice to say “Hey BiP, we mean business.”
At one point in the conversation DH shrugged and said “All kids are beaten at some point. Look at us, we turned out ok.” (this was NOT him condoning physical punishment as discipline)
To which I replied, “NO, not all children are beaten. Smacked maybe, beaten no.”
The look on his face said it all. It took a while for him to comprehend. DH is much better than me at not looking back at the bad things in the past. Whereas, now as a mother, I do a lot of reflecting.
I was beaten as a child. By beaten I mean with objects. I was signed off swimming for 2 weeks when I was 7. I had said something I didn’t understand to a friend who told her mum who reported it. I refused to repeat it to my mother. So it was beaten out of me. It happened countless times.
I never for once thought anything of it. EVERY kid is beaten when they do and say bad things. Right? Well, no. That’s called abuse. No matter how hard my mother hugged me tight and told me she loved me that never excused the fact I was bruised and broken inside.
I can say that now as an adult who is now a mother.
It is hard not to repeat history. Oh it is. When BiP tests my patience I feel the urge to smack her but hold myself back. What will it achieve if I do smack her? Nothing. I don’t want it to escalate and become ok. I don’t want her to blog about it in 25 years time. I don’t want to regret it.
I’m out of time, just as well, I wish there was a pill for avoiding repeating history.
Where do you draw the line between discipline and abuse?
This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.