10 things I wish I had done differently

With BiP having just celebrated her first birthday I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year. I was reading The Alternative Housewife’s list of 6 things she’d do in her next time which inspired me to make my own list.  Isn’t it amazing how hindsight is 20-20? I came up with few things that I wish I’d done differently but, as a first time mummy, I am not beating myself up about any of it. Its all been a learning curve albeit, a very, very steep one!

BiP and I on her 1st Birthday

So, here are my 10 things that I wish I’d done differently.

1. I wish I’d done more research on breastfeeding. I wish I’d read books on it rather just attend a 2 hour class with an uninspired midwife who used examples of crazy American and Canadian women who breastfed for “excessive” amounts of time (12m+). I wish I’d found the Le Leche League group that has English speaking Lactation Consultants before BiP’s 9 month birthday!!! Maybe my journey wouldn’t have been so hard.

2. I wish I’d planned to wear my baby. I did plan, I bought 2 slings and a BabyBjorn. NONE of which were comfortable or practical. So by the time I bought a wrap BiP was 3 months old and I wasn’t that great with it as I didn’t have anyone to show me how to use it and BiP wasn’t used to it.

3. I wish I’d given myself a break over the way my post partum body looked. I had, and still have, major issues with the way my pregnancy weight didn’t melt off. It wasn’t until I came across this post by The Mommyologist that I started to relax. I wish I’d bought clothes I actually LIKED! I’ve hated most of my clothes over the last year which is no way to go. It’s hard enough being not quite yourself without adding the horror of ugly clothes to the mix.

Potty feet

4. I wish I’d started Elimination Communication sooner. We started at 3 months but I think we could have started earlier. I still feel a bit guilty holding BiP knowing she was pooping and doing nothing about it.

5. I wish I’d started BiP’s routine earlier. BiP LOVES her routine. The day we started she was a new baby. I was told to wait until she was 6 weeks old or until she set it herself – we started at 5 weeks and she was a new baby. It made everyone happier and sleep better.

6. I wish I’d been realistic about being a mother. I had crazy, unattainable ideals of what motherhood was and would work myself into the ground and end up disappointed. I was trying to be a supermom and was setting myself up for disaster!  Relax and go with the flow. Most things can wait!

7. I wish I’d chosen a more practical diaper bag. I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s something that annoys me so much. My bag is too big, too heavy and quite impractical. If you plan to breastfeed and EC and then BLW you don’t need a massive bag for diapers, bottles, food etc … I plan to get one soon which can be worn as a backpack, not a slick as a shoulder bag but much easier to handle a tiny toddler … the number of times my bag has slid off my shoulder and taken BiP out when holding her hand is getting silly!

8. I sometimes wish I’d not bothered with the flashy highchair. I suffered from the idea that BiP had to have EVERYTHING and the best of it (within reason) so I went for the STOKKE Tripp Trapp … ok, it’s a gorgeous piece of furniture and it serves BiP well as a highchair until I discovered the IKEA Antilop … SUPER cheap, easy to clean and practical (even if the legs do come out too far and I kick it flying across the room). We now have both and it eats me up seeing the gorgeous chair collecting dust … BUT I still love it so it stays!

9. I wish I’d printed photo’s month by month, or maybe week by week. I sporadically printed photos to send out and now I am left with the daunting task of trawling through 365+ days of photo’s to find the perfect ones to be printed and framed and put into BiP’s album. I wonder if it will ever get done!

10. I wish I’d tried cloth diapers sooner. I didn’t get BiP’s cloth diapers until she was 9 months old and I wasn’t particularly impressed, I’m still not.  I never intended to cloth diaper because I thought we’d not really need diapers with EC but we do use diapers so I gave in and got some. I can’t help but feel that, if I had tried sooner, I’d have been happier with them!
So there are my 10 things I wish I’d done differently … what are yours?

26 Responses to 10 things I wish I had done differently

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Thanks Susana!

  1. This is one of the nice things about having a second baby– you’ve learned a LOT from your experience with your first, and get a chance to apply it all over again. 😉

    In defense of the Tripp Trapp, I think its usefulness really starts to be more obvious from here on out. We had a regular high chair for Donovan till he was about 1 yr, then for a Tripp Trapp (borrowed at first, then loved it so much we bought our own). In the beginning it’s nice to have the tray, etc. But once D was a little bigger, less messy at eating, able to use a plate, etc… I *loved* the independence it gave him. I loved having him at the table with us, and that he could get himself up and down without needing help. Once I got used to that, I kinda hated having to put him in a regular high chair when we were elsewhere! And you’ll be able to use it much longer than the Ikea chair, since it can be adjusted for their height (as opposed to having to strap a booster onto a regular dining chair).

    So, yeah, I wouldn’t feel too bad about keeping it around. ; ) I have a cheap strap-on chair that I’ll probably use with Quinn when he starts eating “real” food but once he gets close to a year I’ll be very tempted to buy him his own Tripp Trapp, too.

    Also– I just use a regular backpack as my diaper bag. I like the one-strap messenger bags, too (wearing it accross your body keeps the strap from sliding down off your shoulder) but the two-strap backpack is really the way to go.

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Thanks for the encouragement for BiP the 2nd … eek!!!! It’s great to hear from a Mummy who has made changes with No. 2!

      I’ll get BiP back into the Tripp Trapp … I do love her being right at the table and, as I mentioned, I don’t trip over it like the cheap IKEA one.

      I must get myself a good backpack … the messenger bag across my chest is really uncomfortable.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Great list! I agree with lots of those. For me, there are tons of baby things I just wouldn’t buy if I could do it over again, like expensive baby shoes before the baby is walking. I also would be much more confident with baby led weaning. And I’d probably pay more attention to which vaccinations I thought were really necessary and when.

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Ah ha! Isn’t hindsight great? We all do the best we can do at the time – the age old “if I knew then what I know now” is dangerous ground! I wonder if we really would do things that differently if we were to go back … honestly? I skipped the shoes before walking – I didn’t put shoes on BiP until she ran … lol! I just loved her beautiful naked feet! I didn’t include BLW in this list because I did my homework on that one and am happy with how it started and is going … but I can see how many can be hesitant.
      Thanks for stopping by and raising some interesting points!

  3. My list was mainly about pregnancy. I feel like I’ve done pretty damn good at the mom thing once I was thrown into it. We started EC just before 6 months and it was perfect because he could sit unassisted. I am not sure he would have taken to it as well earlier, although I will probably try with my next baby.

    We don’t even have a high chair and I wish we did. But it’s better than having bought something I didn’t use! (Thank goodness our glider was a gift, and that we were able to resell it.)

    I probably could get away with a smaller diaper bag as well, although I do love my bag. It is outrageously big.

    I also wish we had done cloth dipes from the beginning (We planned to but didn’t have small enough sizes and were overwhelmed), definitely should have purchased cute larger clothes and would have printed out photos for sure! Oh my, the idea of putting together Sebastian’s photo books is so damn intimidating.

    Last thing: You are so pretty and your hair is gorgeous!

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Thanks Janine … amazing what a hair cut and good blow dry can do for a mama! 🙂
      I think I’ve probably forgotten how overwhelmed I was in the beginning so, idealistically, I can now say, in hindsight, that I wish I’d started this sooner but we all start when we are ready and able to! My priority was recovering and breastfeeding – the rest came in it’s own time. Many of us fall victim to the desire to be SuperMom!

  4. Love it, I’ve got 4.5 more months till my baby’s first birthday to come up with a similar list.

    I’m completely with #3. I’m still giving myself a hard time 7.5 months later, mostly because you would think after 7.5 months I’d be closer to my pre-pregnancy weight but I”m still 15 lbs away, sigh.

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Can’t wait to see your list! Don’t be hard on yourself weight wise .. next time round I will just embrace it (I hope) … whatever … happy healthy baby is the priority and I am sure the outside world never see’s us the way we see ourselves!

  5. I loved no. 9 ..as for me its 1yr and 5 mnths 😛

    • mummyinprovence says:

      We need to set a date and get ordering those prints!

  6. I wanted the Tripp Trapp but went with the Antilop and I think it’s the most difficult to clean piece of baby furniture I have. It was cheap and cute but OMG! I hate cleaning it. Add the BLW and every day it’s just a disaster. Judah should really just eat in the bathtub, it would save us all a lot of time and energy cleaning 🙂

    • mummyinprovence says:

      I sometimes consider feeding BiP in the garden and then letting the dog and cats take over! BUT it does get easier. The amount of mess does reduce! BiP had rice today and was in her Tripp Trapp and there was nothing on the floor! Result! Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to start with the Tripp Trapp but now it’s amazing!

  7. Ameena,

    Somehow I missed this one. Great list! Agreed!

    I had read one book twice on breastfeeding but BF is hard and our first didn’t BF as easily as our second. Actually he almost never latched so I had to pump and feed him after trying to get him to latch for a period of time…. You hit the nail on the head with having support: Le leche was yours and this is what every BF mama needs.

    The second does make you feel like you are an even better mother as you have the experience and it is easier in this regard. My regret with the first is not walking away from tantrums sooner (true tantrums) as that extinguished them quickly with our 2nd. With a 2nd, you may have an the experience but as no two children are alike, you will still have to tweak things that don’t work.

    Hope your family is enjoying celebrating Father’s Day!
    Rajka

    • mummyinprovence says:

      Welcome as always 🙂

  8. I love this part :” I never intended to cloth diaper because I thought we’d not really need diapers with EC”:)) Ha, I was so optimistic myself, really convinced that we would not need diapers, but I had bought some prefolds even before L. was born that I intended to use open under his bum, so fortunately we never really had to use disposables. But we still use lots of prefolds. Closed. AND sometimes with a wrap (shame on me);))

    • Ameena Falchetto says:

      You are better than me – the cloth got sold a few months back and we are STILL in sposies!

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