Category Archives: United Arab Emirates

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Maha who is half English, half Egyptian and had her children in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Here is her story:

having a baby abroad Dubai little farasha mahaTell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

I’m 28, half English half Egyptian born in Dubai, lived around the middle east but went to school and University in England.

I have a 4 year old daughter. I had her in Dubai at a private hospital. My 23 month twin boys were also born in Dubai but at a Government pediatric and maternity hospital.

Why did you have your children abroad?

My husband is from Dubai and my family live here also so with my first delivering here was the obvious choice. Also I didnt want to be away from my husband who wouldnt be able to travel because of work.

My experience delivering my daughter was not one i look back on happily.My doctor was an older indian woman who was quite a ‘hard’ person and always very rushed. I was put on bed rest at the beginning of the pregnancy due to bleeding so I just wanted a good and experienced doctor. I guess thats why i over looked her harsh nature. I enrolled in antenatal classes at her recommendation and when the midwife heard who my doctor was she told me “you’ll by induced my 39 weeks and be strapped to monitors” – not what i wanted at all! I used the guide from those classes to draft my birth plan and insisted we went through it together. I didnt want anything unusual. Majority of my requests were simply “to be informed before rupturing membranes / performing a sweep / starting internal monitoring” etc and also for internal examinations to only be performed by the same person (subject to shift changes – i was being realistic). In short, not one of the points on my birth plan , that she even signed off on, was followed. From the start i was told they were just going to “check” me and then i had excurciating pain… because she performed a sweep. The next time she just wanted to “check” me I burst into tears because I thought I lost control of my bladder. In fact she had burst my water. And did i mention this happened at 39 weeks because she told me that if i didnt let her induce me then my baby would be too big to deliver naturally and i’d have no choice but to have a csection. I also requested that only the necessary staff be in the labour room and guests be limited to immediate family but 18 hours into my labour i noticed random nurses coming in and out of the room. They would stand, look at us, smile and walk out. My husband ask why they keep coming in and out and the midwife giggled. Her answer? “They’ve been told you are a cute couple. they wanted to see”.

After the birth I was very happy to see that the hospital listened to my request that my new baby be exclusively breastfed and they put a big sticker on the bassinet. On day 2 they gave her a nice warm bath and she slept and slept…and slept! After 3 hours i tried waking her for a feed but she was too sleepy. An hour later we stripped her off and tried again but still she slept. They told me that they would need to check her blood sugar level to make sure she wasnt sleeping because of low sugar levels. I agreed. They pricked her heel and of course she cried. While they tested the blood i tried to nurse her but she didnt want to latch on and the blood sugar test was fine. Since the test was fine I refused the nurses suggestion of a “top up feed”. 20 minutes later another nurse walked into my room and in front of my guests announced that i was starving my baby and that i was cruel. she said that they would need to give her formula with a syringe. I was so upset and very embarrassed. In hindsight i wonder if i was alone in the room if i would have stood up to her. But i gave in. Tears streamed down my face while they gave her the formula not because it was formula but because I was worried about the knock on effect – her full tummy means she wouldn’t nurse for even longer and i was desperately trying to establish my supply, and most importantly my wishes were unnecessarily disregarded yet again. Thankfully we were able to figure out breastfeeding ourselves and with the help of some amazing lactation consultants and I nursed her until she was 21 months.

We were blessed with a healthy baby girl at the end of it all so thats all that matters but the experience there was dreadful. When i fell pregnant again and knowing i was due in the summer I straight away said i would deliver in England… but then we found out we were having twins, and the pregnancy was a bit bumpy from the start so we decided that it would be best staying here. I definitely didnt like the idea of flying back with 3 kids under 3! As soon as i told anyone i was having twins i was told csection and of course exclusively breastfeeding isnt even worth thinking about. I chose the government hospital because they have the best NICU unit and no other hospital was able to support babies as premature as this government hospital could. As soon as i mentioned delivery to the doctors there, the idea of a natural labour was completely normal. They carefully explained the possible situations that i needed to keep in mind but said if both babies were head down then 100% i could attempt a natural delivery. In the UAE doctors are not allowed to deliver a breach baby naturally, however, in the case of twins my doctor told me that even if Baby B was transverse, which he ended up being, or breach natural labour is still an option. The twins were born naturally and thankfully Baby B turned himself head down during the labour. It was the most empowering moment of my life. I wasnt poke and proded, put in unnatural and uncomfortable positions. As for feeding, breastfeeding was very much encoraged. unfortunately one of my twins needed some nicu time and his brother was with me wanting to nurse endlessly. when i called the nurse in the middle of the night i was expecting her to offer formula and i was ready to say yes! Instead she told me if i was too tired to keep nursing, i could express some milk and she would give it to him with a cup or syringe while i slept. Without that support i dont know if i would have had enough milk for the both of them and continued to exclusively breastfeed them. They’re 23 months and still nursing 🙂

What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

The private healthcare here is usually very good and since everyone (or most) have health insurance, it makes it accessible to all. However, for me the government hospital was truly incredible. Theres no bells and whistles, long waits in the antenatal clinic and standard ultrasound equipment but when it came down to whats really important, I could not fault them. A huge benefit this year has been the access to hired help! Live in helpers are the norm and is an affordable luxury.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

l read a LOT of forums and blogs when i was pregnant with my first but then avoided them in my second pregnancy. I envied the mothers who were able to have home births, water births, whose birth plans were respected!

Part of the local culture here is visiting when someone delivers. we visit in the hospital so typically the new mummy wears a pretty nursing gown and will have organized a hairdresser to come an blow dry her hair in the hospital. She will take a hospital suite to accommodate all the guests and have organised canapes, juice and tea to be served. The suite will be decorated in a particular theme and gifts will be given to each person who visits. On top of preparing for the new baby this is a lot to plan for too! Typically you receive a lot of guests for your first baby – we served 100 coffees on the first day after having my daughter. Hospitals set visiting hours but when you have a private suite they don’t really enforce it. I was receiving people from 10am until 1030pm. It is hard and tiring but its also lovely to really be celebrating the new arrival 🙂

I was so lucky to have my mother with me throughout and the support of my husbands family.

having a baby in Dubai maha little farashaDid you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

I didn’t realise until I had my daughter just how pro-breastfeeding I am. It has been incredible seeing the support you get here in a culture that encourages mothers to nurse their children until their 2nd birthday. When feeding the boys I really had to trust my gutt as with all big families and communities there’s support and theirs a lot of ‘advice’. Many told me that it was too much work for me to breastfeed both of the boys (i tandem feed with the help of the EZTwin nursing pillow) and that i should nurse one, and pump for the other and then give in a bottle. This seemed like waaay too much work for me. When the boys started becoming colicky, which we later discovered was silent reflux, i was told that boys were hungrier than girls and that they were fussing because they were hungry. I trusted my gutt, asked my midwife and my milk supply, or possible lack of it, wasnt the problem

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Have a plan but be flexible. Noone knows whats going to happen when you go into labour. Yes, it would be amazing to have candles, nice music, oil massages and be rocking on a ball through the labour but sometimes that just doesnt happen… and if it doesn’t thats ok. In hindsight i was so upset not because of what was actually happening. Why would i be? My dream came true – a healthy baby. I was upset because what i imagined didnt happen

Trust your gut! Advice from others is always well meaning advice but can lead you on the wrong track or really make you worry that youre doing everything wrong as its usually the complete opposite of what the person before said!

Stand your ground. Insist that the doctor listens to you and respects your wishes (as long as they dont jeopardise the health of you or the baby of course)

Get help with breastfeeding! I took a package with a midwife to come to my house once a week since we dont have health visitors like in the UK. Each time she came she would check the boys latch just to be sure. the minute things started to go off track i’d call her. Get the problem sorted early and then its easy to deal with. Problems with breastfeeding can be so painful for mummy. Don’t suffer!

Get a nursing cover! You don’t need to be stuck at home just because you’re breastfeeding…and you definitely don’t need to sit in the public toilet every time baby gets hungry. As a muslim woman wanting even more modesty and also feeding an older baby i found that most nursing covers weren’t wide enough so started designing my own. Feeding my babies when out and about has never been an issue.

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About Maha:

Maha Gorton Little FarashaMaha is the founder and creator of Little Farasha  (“Farasha” meaning butterfly in Arabic) is a collection of hand crafted, Middle Eastern inspired accessories for trendy babies and glamous yet modest mothers.

Check out her stunning Keffiyah dribble bibs, nursing covers and ghitra bags!

Connect with Maha on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

 

 

 

 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Rima who is originally Lebanese but born in Dubai. She’s had both her children in the UAE. Here is her story:

having a baby in dubaiTell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

My name is Rima Karam and I am Lebanese – I was born in the UAE on May 9, 1979 and I was raised in Kuwait, USA, and the UAE. I met my husband while in high-School in Dubai and 16 years later we are married with two adorable children – Tiana is 3 and Kai is 8 – 1/2 months.

Why did you have your children abroad?

For me the UAE is my home as I was born here and spent the better years of my life here but my parents left Lebanon before they were married due to the country’s constant unrest and civil wars – there were no jobs so a great percentage of the population moved to the ME – mainly Kuwait (where my parents met) and the UAE.

What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

As I am sure a lot of people know the UAE is a very cosmopolitan country and especially Dubai. It is a melting pot of different nationalities and I love it here. It is so up to date with medicine, technology, and education that I still wonder why it is referred to a 3rd World Country! I was blessed to have a fantastic OBGYN (the same one for both my kids) who took very good care of me like I was her own daughter and was there for me anytime I needed her. The hospital nurses were great and most of the doctors were brilliant but I had a few complications with my second delivery (a c-section) but thankfully all is well.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

The first time around I had a natural delivery and I was surprisingly calm as I didn’t know the ordeal I was getting into! I was informed of everything, I had met the anesthesiologist in advance as I had opted for an epidural and I had to sign a few papers and discuss a few side effects that could occur but thankfully I was ok. My OBGYN let me tour the delivery unit where I would be giving birth a few days before my due date and it made me feel more at ease as I familiarized myself with the place so it didn’t feel alien to me! All the midwives were extremely sweet and helpful although I don’t recall much from 0 – 2cm as it was all a blur of pain! Thankfully after the epidural I could think straight!

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

I am not sure as I have never resided in Lebanon, but all I know that in Beirut it’s a stereo-type and a trend to have a C-Section as its faster and easier for the mother and the doctor! But I was never pushed into anything like that here, my 2nd delivery was a C-section as my son was a big baby mashallah and in my first delivery my daughter had to be literally sucked out by a a ventouse as she was stuck as my canal was a bit tight. Hence the C-section, but that was decided at the end when we had an approximate weight estimate and we knew it would never happen with natural!

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Be as educated and informed as you can be about your situation, but don’t be extremely anal or that will work against you. Do remember that the doctors are here to help so if you don’t like something they are saying get a second opinion – its ok to disagree with your doctor on a few things but you have to be happy with them and trust them as yours and your baby’s life is in their hands. And use all the help you can get from the hospital/clinics, if they give home visits use them, if they have free classes on breast feeding etc, use it all! There’s nothing wrong with needing help, as there is no right or wrong way to raise a child. Also one more piece of advice – don’t get stressed if everything doesn’t go the way you planned it! There is no such thing as a plan with a newborn child – go with the flow and be happy that you and your baby are healthy and well.

About Rima and Fashlink

February 2012 was a very important month for my family and I as we welcomed our baby boy Kai into the world as well as another “family member” per se. Fashlink.com was born in February 2012 – and it started out as an online window shopping site – which focused on what was in stores in the UAE. It was great helping create the site and watching it grow and evolve into an online shopping site – due to popular demand – targeted to the Middle Eastern shopaholics. We focus on small business/designers/entrepreneurs who create/sell products focused on women and children and hopefully mid- 2013 we will be launching the men’s section. I focus on sourcing brands/products for the children’s section – being a mother I find it very challenging and fun to meet new people who are so creative – its inspiring and motivates me to help them succeed and promote their products to the Middle East – and the world.

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Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Zoe who is British and had her first son in Dubai, UAE and her second in the UK. Here is her story:

having baby abroad dubai united arab emirates UAE

Zoe with Oscar and Jasper

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

I moved to Dubai from a previous expat location, The Cayman Islands in the Caribbean. However my husband and I are both originally from Kent, UK.  We lived in Dubai for approximately 3 years before we had our son there.  I now have two sons, Oscar aged 3.3 who was born in Dubai and Jaspar 1.3 who was born in UK.  I had Oscar when I was 32 and Jaspar when I was 34 years old.

Why did you have your children abroad? What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

I had Oscar abroad as we were living in that country and flying to the UK would have been very inconvenient due to the fact you would have to fly before 7 months and then you are advised not to fly when the baby is still very tiny which would have meant being away from my husband for quite a few months.  Also you do have to pay in Dubai which my husbands employer covered in their medical insurance.  If they had not it may have been a different story and would have gone back to UK as there it is free!!  The hospitals in the UK all look directly from the 70’s and although they have the medical equipment, because the service is free you cannot have scans etc more than twice throughout your pregnancy.  So when we went to our hospital in Dubai it seemed like a 5 star hotel and as you pay for every service, they are all readily available!

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I felt totally at ease. All I felt was that as long as I had my husband there I would be ok!!  Also, it didnt matter where we were, I was going to be in lots of pain either way!!!

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

I found in general everything was more on the medical side than the natural side but didnt bother me too much as I like ansewrs!! I like 2 and 2 to equal 4, where with pregnancy and birth there is no exact calculation but they made you feel as though there were?!?

One thing that was different was you were weighed constantly and I was told I was gaining too much weight and kept being told the bigger I got the bigger the baby will get and I have to get that baby out somehow so better to try and keep him small. I was put on a diet of no potato, pasta, rice or bread from around 4 months.  At the time it was very difficult but after I hardly gained any weight and went straight back to previous body.

With my second son in the UK I was not weighed and was told it doesnt really matter and I ended up putting on loads of weight and having a huge 4.4kg baby!! So were they right????

Also, in Dubai I was induced at 8 days over due as, again she had estimated he was a big baby, the induction was not really successful and I ended up having a c section – in hindsight I would have said no lets wait the full 14 days over to see if I go naturally – Oscar ended up 3.8kg which is still not small?  I felt there was more interferring in Dubai than in the UK!

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Take the docs advice but still listen to yourself and stick to your guns if you feel strongly about something.

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Lorraine who is Irish and had her children in the Dubai, UAE. Here is her story:

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from?

Having baby abroad in Dubai

Lorraine is Irish and had her children in Dubai

How old are your children and where did you have them?

I had met my husband and lived in Dubai for around eight years when we found out we were having a baby. I didn’t even consider going home to have the baby, as I was working there in a public relations agency. We considered Dubai as our home. While saying that, a lot of expatriates there do go home for a few months to have their babies. In fact, I worked right up to the day I was brought into hospital, which was a few days before the due date! I was in great form, so was really happy to do that. I had all three children in Dubai, Adam, 9, Leila, 8 and Lara, 5.

Why did you have your children abroad?What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad? 

My antenatal care was great. There is a big English speaking community there, so there was plenty of support before and after the birth. I found it easy to meet other mums and join groups, which was fun, although obviously I missed my own mother. One great thing about having a baby when you are abroad is that you are creating your own family, that will always be with you.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

Things were good, but sometimes when I was tired, I missed the support of my mother. I was lucky because I met a group of mums who encouraged me to breastfeed. It was very common there, and I never had any negative reactions. Naturally, I did cover up when I had to feed in cafes etc.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

We went to an Australian midwife for parenting classes beforehand and she warned us that in the public hospital, we would have to be really firm about certain things, eg not wanting an epidural, or episiotomy. She also told us to insist if I wanted to be active during the birth, and also to insist on breastfeeding. I found the hospital staff nice, but in some cases I felt they intervened more than necessary. When I went for a standard check up for my first child, they felt the heart beat was not strong enough, and kept me in, and ended up inducing me. But at the same time they kept giving me meals, which were curries. I was violently sick. On my second child, I didn’t go to hospital until I was quite advanced in labour, partially because I wanted to avoid unnecessary interventions. On my third child, I had to be induced after 12 days. Up to then, my doctor kept trying to get me to be induced, but she did listen whenI said I wanted to wait.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation? 

Research your options beforehand, and be firm if you can. Make sure your husband knows what you want. Don’t be too upset if the birth doesn’t go as you expected. And make sure to meet lots of other mums. It’s really important to build a support network.

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com


Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: DUBAI, UAE

Having a baby in Dubai expatIt’s back to the United Arab Emirates this week as part of the series The Global Differences of Baby-Making to hear Catherine’s story about having her son in Dubai.  She talks about feeling nervous about being abroad, the benefits of private healthcare and the differences between Dubai and the UK. Here is her story:

Tell me a bit about yourself. Where are your from? How old is your son, and where did you have him?
I’m 32 years old, from the South West of England – a village in Weston-super-Mare. I grew up in Oslo, Norway. My son William is 13 months and baby number two is due in November. Will was born in City Hospital, Dubai, and hopefully our second will be born there as well with the same obstetrician.

Why did you have your son abroad?
We had Will in Dubai as, for the moment, it’s home for us – I’ve lived there for ten years and my husband for six, and we never really considered having him anywhere else. While I’m sure healthcare in the UK is first-rate, my sister had horrendous birth experiences with her first two children and I’ve often read maternity care is an area needing some attention thanks to understaffing and over-stretched resources. We did also feel going back to the UK to have our baby would have been cheating, as neither of us has contributed to the country for some time and we’re no longer eligible for NHS care (and quite rightly so).

As an expectant mother abroad, how did you feel?
I was nervous about having our baby abroad as I knew I wouldn’t have my immediate family to hand straight away, but as it happened Mum was over on holiday when my doctor decided to induce so that was a stroke of luck! I did feel somewhat isolated, though, and distanced even more from my family at a time when I would have liked to have been closer to them, especially since my sister already had two children and was pregnant with her third.

Catherine with Will & her husband

Given that my healthcare in Dubai was private, I was concerned that I might end up undergoing tests or procedures that weren’t strictly necessary purely for money-making purposes, but again my choice of doctor reassured me, as she had worked in the UK for a number of years before relocating to Dubai. I was also very concerned I might be pushed into a C-section (I wish I had been now!) but she was very supportive of my wish for a natural birth. I found that pretty much anyone and everyone had an opinion – something I doubt I’d have encountered in the UK – and they weren’t frightened to share it. I never expected to have to defend my choice of not having an NT scan over the coffee machine in the office! I also found some of the medical professionals (and I use that word lightly) somewhat less than subtle in their manner; the doctor who did our anomaly scan at 20 weeks announced that I must have pregnancy diabetes as ‘baby is fat’. Er, OK.

What do you feel are the benefits of having a child abroad?
As healthcare in Dubai is mainly private, one of the benefits was a lovely modern hospital with private rooms. Superficial, yes, but I’d imagine having to be in a ward with other women after one of the most traumatic experiences of my life would have been a little less than ideal! Another benefit, especially for me, was that my maternity care was entirely the responsibility of an obstetrician, whereas at home I may only have seen someone this senior in case of any problems. I had pre-eclampsia and a difficult delivery thanks to being induced, and I was very reassured to have a specialist taking care of me. Not that the midwives weren’t excellent – they were beyond excellent – but I hadn’t had the easiest of pregnancies and I was grateful for the extra level of care.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?
I’d say to others in our situation, find yourselves as much of a support network as you possibly can. I managed to meet up with a group of mums-to-be all due around the same time and found them invaluable – we were all so supportive of each other, we really did take the place of family when family simply couldn’t be there. We still keep in touch now and two of us are pregnant again. And one more tip; if you do have any doubts about the care you’re receiving, see if you can find out what would happen back at home. Having my sister at home who’d been there and done that, so we could compare, was great for me but I also managed to find information on NHS websites and through other online resources to put my mind at rest.

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

 

 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UNITED ARAB EMIRATES

having baby abroad UAE DubaiNext up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making we go to the United Arab Emirates to hear Rouba’s story about how she had both her son and her daughter abroad. She talks about recently having a water birth in Abu Dhabi which is almost unheard of and how it’s important to believe in the most important thing mother’s posses; instinct.

 

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

After having spent most of my life moving from place to place, I came to the conclusion that even though I was originally Lebanese, I am in fact an international citizen! Unbound by any ethnic or racial background or limited by it for that matter… I have two kids: Omar, six years old and Naya, 2 months – both born in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) – one in a regular operating room in Dubai and the second in the bathtub of a hospital in Abu Dhabi ☺

Why did you have your children abroad?
Like a lot of Lebanese people, I have had to find my fortune outside Lebanon where instability and constant turmoil prevail, and spend my life reminiscing over how beautiful my country is! I now live for my short holidays back to savor the beauty, the food and the weather for a few short days! It’s not that bad – I’m kind of over it now… so are the other 12 million Lebanese living abroad ☺

Living abroad means convenience of breeding onsite… No use in going back home to deliver if the pregnancy is stable and there are no complications. Had there been any issues then I would have probably felt safer in the hands of a skilled Lebanese doctor back home… There was also the factor of practicality, I’m a working mother and disconnecting for long periods of time is not really an option, but again, it’s ok – I’m kind of over it now ☺

One of the key reasons I didn’t need to be back home for my second delivery was that my courageous doctor in Abu Dhabi was prepared to help me have the waterbirth I had always dreamed of! Yes, epidural-free birth… I know what you’re thinking… “Why would anyone deliberately take the pain!” Well, I wasn’t up for it the first time I became a mother even though I had the intention to… It just didn’t happen… Given that my husband and I planned to only have two kids – it was now or never… !

 

 

 

drug free birth abu dhabi

Rouba in labour

 

 

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?
When you say waterbirth in Abu Dhabi, Dubai OR Lebanon even the entire region here, it’s pretty much uncharted territory… In fact, none of the doctors, relatives or friends I spoke with encouraged it. They all made me feel reckless and irresponsible to even consider the option and here I was struggling with the decision… My thought was that women have been having their babies at home for centuries with midwives and without hospitals, doctors or nurses so why on earth couldn’t I have my baby in a small kiddy pool at the hospital itself under the supervision of a qualified medical team who could intervene at any point? I was determined… And the more people discouraged me, the more I became adamant to go where no Lebanese woman had gone before… ☺ I felt like Neil Armstrong about to step on the moon!

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?
Sure, I had my fears and concerns but when my doctor agreed and confirmed that it would be a safe option considering I was having a healthy uncomplicated pregnancy – I was ready! I watched at least 100 videos of waterbirths on youtube and felt so empowered I could open my own birthing clinic! 😀

I had to mentally prepare myself for the day and even though my labor began two days ahead, it was amazing to watch as my body started getting accustomed to the pain… I witnessed as my threshold for tolerance increased over the two days and by the time my cervix was ripe and at 2.5 cms, I was able to do some last minute shopping… I had to break every three minutes to breathe through the contractions but hey, I knew the pain was gonna get really bad eventually and so I tried to pace myself… It worked… I even suggested going home and resting for a while but my doctor wouldn’t have it, he knew that day was D day and he didn’t want me to give birth in my living room!

Once at the hospital, it was indeed confirmed that I was in labor… the contraction monitor was flickering over the 100 mark at a time when I my contractions had started off at 20/100 two days earlier and slowly built up to 50/100 that same morning…

I had been pacing up and down the corridor and had began crying through my contractions when we all decided it was time I got in the tub… The minute I felt the warm water, I felt so much better! It’s amazing what the water did for me and the only time I felt like crying again was at 8 centimeters – literally minutes before Naya came out!

Rouba with newborn Naya in the birthing pool

What I found amazing was that my natural instincts that just came into play… The last time I was giving birth, I was numb the waist down and needed the doctor to notify me when the contractions were coming in… This time around it was different… At some points I felt the desire to rotate my waste in the water and that reduced the pain a little… I was taking deep controlled breaths… Yes I was in pain; I’m not forgetting that part! But there was an elevated side of me that was fully focused and in control… The doctor was coming in and out of the bathroom to check on progress and it was at my call that we began the pushing process… Effectively, after 3 hours in the bathtub, it took two major pushes and my baby was out… What a feeling! I felt her every millisecond of the way… It was beautiful… I felt so strong in that moment… The second she was out, the pain vanished almost magically! Again my body guided me when it was time to push the placenta out and it was on my call that it happened…

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?
I think if this experience has taught me anything it is to trust my instinct as a mother and just ignore what people say and that includes close family and relatives! Surely, I’m not referring to unrealistic expectations especially when a medical condition is involved or any complication whatsoever… In these instances it is best to seek and follow medical advice… In the absence of such challenges, women have a built-in mechanism that just “knows” what to do… We just have to trust in it enough to follow it… Everyone was against me doing this waterbirth but it’s ok – I’m SO OVER IT! ☺

If you have any questions you can follow Rouba on Twitter, Facebook, www.myspace.com/roubaz  and check out her Blog: www.findingmyvenus.com

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

 

 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: DUBAI, UAE

having baby abroad dubai

Sahar with her husband and newborn baby girl

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making we go to Dubai to where Sahar had her baby girl just under a year ago.

Here is her story:

 

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old is your daughter and where did you have her?

My name is Sahar Wahbeh and I am the founder of DUMYÉ and I’m living in the United Arab Emirates. I was born and raised in Northern Virginia, studied communication arts in Georgia and started my career in NYC. After meeting a tall, dark and handsome man (my husband) I moved to his country of residence, Dubai. I have been here since 2006. We now have a little girl who is 10 months old.

 Why did you have your daughter abroad?

Simply answered it was more practical to have the baby in Dubai. The alternative meant I would have to fly back to the US a couple months before the birth and return a month or so after. My husband would only be able to fly in for a short period around the birth. The idea of being a part at such a physically and emotionally exhausting time was just too much to bear.

Ironically I had prenatal insurance in the US but not in Dubai. So the decision to have the baby in Dubai also meant we would have to foot the bill. But it seemed worth it at the time (and it was). Being comfortable and relaxed, especially with your caregiver during delivery was important to me.

To be honest, at first, I was horrified at the idea of having our baby overseas. My experience with the health care in Dubai had been less than stellar. I did a lot of research to find a doctor in Dubai that I could trust and allow me the kind of natural birth I desired. Everything ended up working out wonderfully.

What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

In retrospect I think that if I had demanded the same ‘hands off approach’ of my doctor in America I would have been met with more resistance. America’s health care, for all its advantages, is driven by insurance companies. Protocol is difficult to overturn. For instance I refused to be prepped with an IV upon arriving at the hospital. I refused an episiotomy. I refused to have a shot to aid the delivery of the placenta. Oh and the list goes on.

I must say that I have never had a baby in the US, but based on the stories I have heard from other mothers I think I was actually lucky to have experienced giving birth overseas. I was able to hold and nurse my baby for the first hour immediately following the birth. She came out and went straight into my arms. I delivered in a private hospital, which guaranteed me a private room. There was even a full-size couch bed for my husband to sleep on in the room. The day after my delivery a physical therapist came by my room to give me exercise that would help my body properly recover. As far as I know the above is not routine in America.

I also think that the unknown of Dubai forced me to really do my homework. I don’t think I would have been as diligent in my learning’s of pregnancy and delivery had I been in the US. I would have been less likely to question the information provided to me by my doctor.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I felt the way I think all mothers feel, no matter what country your in. I was excited, determined and anxious.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

Honestly I don’t know… I do find that people (abroad and back home) tend to be surprised at times by my choices. I had a completely natural, un-medicated delivery, by choice. My daughter was in cloth nappies for the first few months. I exclusively breast fed up until my daughter was 6 months. People seem to be overwhelmingly in support of breastfeeding but are always surprised I have been ‘able’ to do it as long as I have. I am still breastfeeding her while following the baby led weaning approach to solids. She is also on an alternative vaccine schedule.

The only thing I can say is, the norm in Dubai is to have a full time, live-in nanny. This was something my husband and I agreed was not for us. People thought and still do think we are insane.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Do your homework and believe in your body. Expatwoman.com was a wonderful resource.

About Sahar

Sahar is the founder of DUMYÉ – this gorgeous brand handcrafts limited edition, eco-friendly rag dolls that you can personalize. For every doll you purchase, we gift a doll to one of the millions of orphaned children around the world. Find out more at DUMYÉ.com! Find them on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter.

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