Author Archives: mummyinprovence

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: What did you just call me?

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stream-of-consciousness-sunday

BiP is getting the hang of this language thing … she’s talking more and more which is great fun.

She’s started called Daddy “Papa” or rather “Daddy, Papa” which is a combination of the English and French.

I was “Maman” for a while which I didn’t like, I wanted to be “Mummy” – recently I hear “Mummy, mummy, mummy?” all day, all the time, whether she wants me or not, it’s like automatic noise for BiP!

BUT over the last few days she’ll get frustrated if I don’t respond to her 15 “Mummys” and start calling “Amy!”

“What did you just call me?” I ask

“Amy” followed with a killer smile.

“Umm, yes that’s my name but I’m Mummy” I calmly explain

“<insert incoherant babble> Amy! Amy! Mummy! AAAAMMMY!”

*sigh* that worked.

I don’t know how I feel about being called by my nickname, very few people call me Amy, and it’s only those who are very close to me who do.

Part of me feels like she’ll meet another Amy one day but she’ll only ever have one Mummy …

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

KidzCanDesign Review: Turn your kid’s artwork into jewelry!

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I was so excited when Danny from KidzCanDesign.com emailed me to introduce their website and give me the opportunity to turn one of BiP’s doodles into a necklace.

The KidsCanDesign concept is SERIOUSLY adorable: you send in a scan of your little one’s masterpiece and they transform it into a sterling silver pendant or charm. Cool huh?

KidzCanDesign Review_MummyinProvence

Immediately I raced into BiP’s room to find a drawing to send over. Now, BiP is just over 2 and half years old so finding something figurative was a challenge !

I asked BiP to pick out her “favourite” drawing and she picked this “moon” doodle. I wanted to have a pendant made of a BiP original, not something I’d helped with.

A week later I received this picture of BiP’s drawing transformed into an adorable pendant!

KidzCanDesignReview_MummyinProvence_Photo

When the pendant arrived in the post it was well presented in a nice silver gift box and the pendant itself was on a black rubber necklace with a strong clasp.

The pendant is about 2cms high and it’s got a pretty good weight on it so it definitely feels like a premium piece of adorable bling!

When I showed BiP she said “Look Mummy! Like my moon!”

I can see a few people getting a BiP original transformed into bling for presents in the years to come!

Don’t forget to LIKE KidzCanDesign on Facebook and check out all the other creations they have transformed into jewelry!

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About KidzCanDesign:

KidzCanDesign_LogoKidzCanDesign specialize in converting your child’s work of art into a high quality sterling silver custom jewelry which can then be worn with pride by any member of the family. They can use any of their traditional drawings created on a piece of paper, or an image created using computer software. If they can draw it and you can send it to them and they can then transform those beautiful creations into either a Pendant or Charm for your son, your daughter, or you, the parent, to wear with pride, letting everyone know that it was your child who stands proudly behind this work of art.

(Disclaimer: I was compensated with a necklace in return for this review)

Baby Monitors: What do you think?

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You know the dreaded feeling – finally drifting off to sleep before hearing a wail from the nursery.

babymonitor

At first I struggled to fall asleep even when BiP was quiet, because I always had an ear listening out for the smallest whimper from the nursery. Thankfully, my baby list was followed and we we given a baby monitor so I could hear BiP where ever I was. These little cries are extra important when practicing Elimination Communication, so being able to easily keep track of what was happening meant I could have a bit of my life back without losing my mind in the process.

What makes a great baby monitor?

babymonitor2

It’s important to minimise audio interference and static. Poorly made monitors can pick up feedback from cell phones and electronics that share the same frequency, so look for a device with Digital Enhanced Cordless Technology (DECT). This also makes sure you maintain your privacy – with an unprotected analogue device, just as you might accidentally intercept one of your neighbour’s mobile phone calls, someone else could mistakenly tap into your baby monitor feed. The security aspect of not being able to be heard was also important to us!

  • Another useful feature is lights in addition to audio. This way, you can turn the machine on mute if you’re awake and still see the lights when your baby calls. This is extra useful if you don’t want the monitor’s wail to wake anybody up.
  • Battery life is a common concern. Some monitors drain very quickly, so read reviews to find one out that will last through the night.
  • Some monitors have a temperature gauge as a bonus feature – while by no means necessary, this gives you peace of mind that your baby’s room is comfortable. (That is, unless you’re one of those parents who puts their children to sleep in sub-freezing temperatures – although that is a subject for a Global Differences Series article!)
  • The best tip for your search is to consider your unique lifestyle and the size of your home.

I was so happy with the addition of my baby monitor and I hope you all find the right one for you!

What features will be most useful to you during your daily routine?

This a guest post, all images provided by the poster.

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Lorraine who is Irish and had her children in the Dubai, UAE. Here is her story:

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from?

Having baby abroad in Dubai

Lorraine is Irish and had her children in Dubai

How old are your children and where did you have them?

I had met my husband and lived in Dubai for around eight years when we found out we were having a baby. I didn’t even consider going home to have the baby, as I was working there in a public relations agency. We considered Dubai as our home. While saying that, a lot of expatriates there do go home for a few months to have their babies. In fact, I worked right up to the day I was brought into hospital, which was a few days before the due date! I was in great form, so was really happy to do that. I had all three children in Dubai, Adam, 9, Leila, 8 and Lara, 5.

Why did you have your children abroad?What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad? 

My antenatal care was great. There is a big English speaking community there, so there was plenty of support before and after the birth. I found it easy to meet other mums and join groups, which was fun, although obviously I missed my own mother. One great thing about having a baby when you are abroad is that you are creating your own family, that will always be with you.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

Things were good, but sometimes when I was tired, I missed the support of my mother. I was lucky because I met a group of mums who encouraged me to breastfeed. It was very common there, and I never had any negative reactions. Naturally, I did cover up when I had to feed in cafes etc.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

We went to an Australian midwife for parenting classes beforehand and she warned us that in the public hospital, we would have to be really firm about certain things, eg not wanting an epidural, or episiotomy. She also told us to insist if I wanted to be active during the birth, and also to insist on breastfeeding. I found the hospital staff nice, but in some cases I felt they intervened more than necessary. When I went for a standard check up for my first child, they felt the heart beat was not strong enough, and kept me in, and ended up inducing me. But at the same time they kept giving me meals, which were curries. I was violently sick. On my second child, I didn’t go to hospital until I was quite advanced in labour, partially because I wanted to avoid unnecessary interventions. On my third child, I had to be induced after 12 days. Up to then, my doctor kept trying to get me to be induced, but she did listen whenI said I wanted to wait.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation? 

Research your options beforehand, and be firm if you can. Make sure your husband knows what you want. Don’t be too upset if the birth doesn’t go as you expected. And make sure to meet lots of other mums. It’s really important to build a support network.

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com


Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Winter Bugs

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stream-of-consciousness-sunday

Firstly, new Stream of Consciousness Sunday button! I’m a bit slow getting on board with it as I’m not a huge fan of change … but I’ve finally done it.

So this week the only thing on my mind is the issue of winter bugs, illnesses.

I am so sick of BiP being ill. It seems like she’s not getting a break.

In the last month it’s been one thing after another.

A cold, an ear infection, then a tummy bug which made her appear like something out the Exorcist, followed with yet another cold, a perpetual visit from the snot monster and now we’re back to a tummy bug.

The worst part is that I feel so helpless. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her catching these bugs but it doesn’t console me.

I think this has to be the worst part of being a parent: watching your child suffer and feel like crap and not be able to take it away.

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UNITED KINGDOM

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Pauline who is French and had her daughter in the UK. Here is her story:

Having baby abroad UK French Mother

Pauline and Emilie

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old is your daughter and where did you have her?

My name is Pauline, I am 31 and I am originally from France. I came to the UK when I was 18 to improve my English. It was supposed to be a year out but I decided to stay and I now live in Sussex with my half French-half English husband and our 4 months old daughter Emilie. She was born in England at our local hospital.

 

Why did you have your daughter abroad? What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

I had my daughter in the UK because it is where we live. We never thought about having her in France as it would have been too impractical and my husband wouldn’t have been able to be there due to work.

 

I like the English attitude to pregnancy and birth. Unless there is a problem, it is a very ‘hands-off’ approach. I was referred to the community midwife who saw me once a month at first, then fortnightly the last trimester, and I had two growth scans at 12 and 20 weeks. I only saw an obstetrician when I was giving birth because it ended up being a ventouse and forceps delivery.

 

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I was very relaxed. I didn’t expect to feel this way at all; I had a lot of misgivings about the National Health Service when I first moved to England and I wasn’t reassured by my subsequent visits to the doctor, whereas my experience of French medical care had been very good, especially access to specialists. But I am actually glad I wasn’t in France where pregnancy and birth are much more medicalised, as if being pregnant is a disease that has to be managed rather than a natural thing.

 

I had a choice about the kind of birth I would prefer; I wrote a birth plan and discussed it with the midwife. The worst bit was the hospital ward, it was hot and crowded and the food was inedible, but I knew this would be the case as it is the same in most hospitals in England.

 

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

I had heard that to reach their targets and to save money, midwives may try to dissuade me from having an epidural, but that wasn’t my experience. They do prefer for births to be as natural as possible but I was given one without difficulty when I asked. I could have chosen a water birth or a home delivery and this would have been accommodated as much as possible. This is not at all the norm in France, you might have to fight to have the birth you want.

 

It is also unusual to want to breastfeed in France, whereas doctors and midwives in the UK are very pro-breastfeeding, to the degree that if you choose to formula-feed, it can be difficult not to feel guilty. But the level of support differs widely from place to place and it is common for many women to give up breastfeeding after a few weeks. I had fantastic support. Whilst still in hospital, a lactation consultant showed me different latching techniques and helped me write a feeding plan for the first 4 days after the birth. There was a breastfeeding room on the ward where I was taught how to express as well.

 

Some people also look at me strangely when I say that I co-sleep, it is encouraged that babies should learn to sleep independently from a very young age and that I am ‘making a rod for my own back’ and she will still need me to fall asleep when she is 7 years old if I don’t wean her off it now. It seems to be quite a controversial practice but it is what works best for us however I don’t know if it is different in other countries. My sister who never left France still occasionally breastfeeds her 3-year-old and co-slept so I thought it was normal until I read otherwise on this website!!!

 

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

I was quite lucky that I am fluent in English so there were no language issues, otherwise my experience would have been very different. Read a pregnancy book, go on online forums to get another perspective and bring a list of questions to your midwife, otherwise they will just do the checks and leave you to it.

Find out more about Pauline on here Blog , on Facebook and Twitter

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

 

 

It’s been TOO long!

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Yes, it’s been too long! I haven’t posted here in a while and well, I feel really bad.

Just today I caught Fadra on Twitter and said how it had been a LONG time since I took part in Stream of Consciousness Sunday. I also asked her how she does it; managing 2 blogs at the same time. She told me it was “HARD” and that she works late making sure she can keep both blogs consistently running.

I’m the first person to say that if you WANT to do something it will happen. But, I didn’t listen to my mantra.

Well, it’s the new year and I am planning to post at least twice a week on this site. I have another site, one that is my business so it get’s my full attention but Mummy in Provence is my baby, it’s how I started blogging and learning about social media. With over 130 posts I’m not going to let it go like that.

I’ve had challenges with this site in terms of design that got so frustrating I had to take a break. BUT! Whilst I iron them out I’ll keep at it.

Maybe you can help me – this site actually COSTS me money which is fine but I am struggling with one thing right now:

My Global Mama series is in desperate need of new posts … if you have had a baby abroad or know someone who has please can you tell them about the series “The Global Differences of Baby-Making”?

I get emails from other mothers who have said how much the series has interested them and some said it helped them feel part of a community of other mothers who’ve experienced the same thing.

Anyway, that’s it from me. I’ll try and keep my word about keeping this site updated with the info you all come here looking for!

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

 

 

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: SOUTH AFRICA

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Rilla who isFrench and had her son in South Africa. Here is her story:

having baby south africaTell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

My name is Rilla, I’m 27, French and I’m a translator. I grew up in Strasbourg, France, but I now live in South Africa, where I’ve been for 2 years already. I have a 18mo son and I’m pregnant with my second son, who is due some time in February.

 

Why did you have your children abroad?

My husband and I were newly weds, out of jobs and visas in Israel, when we decided to move to South Africa, his country of origin. And that’s when we found out that I was expecting! It wasn’t planned at all but we welcomed the news, and honestly, looking back today, we see that we have grown a lot together thanks to this adventure. We didn’t go to France because we expected it would be more difficult work-wise as my husband hadn’t started learning French yet, and I wanted to experience life in his country. So South Africa seemed an obvious choice to us.

 

What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

To me the best aspects are multiculturalism and multilingualism. My baby is brought up in a French-Afrikaans environment, with a Tswana nanny. All three mentalities are very different, and I hope to raise children who have an understanding of the world and of others, who will not judge based on appearances but learn to respect others first and foremost. That is why it is important to me that my son learns his nanny’s language too. So I speak only French to him, my husband only Afrikaans and the nanny only Tswana. Surprisingly, he is not confused a bit by all this “babel-ing”! He understands Afrikaans and French perfectly, and Tswana quite well too I think, although he speaks mostly Afrikaans. And he speaks a lot for an 18mo, so all these languages are not delaying his speech in anyway thus far.

 

having baby abroad south africaAs an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I found it a little frustrating at times to be so far from my family and friends. Only one friend saw me pregnant, and I wish I had been to be able to share more of these moments with those I love, back in France. I still have my grand-parents, and I am the eldest in the family, so my children are their first great-grandchildren, and I felt like I was depriving them of the honour to see their descendants growing -by the way, at 80 years old, they are taking the trip of their life to come and stay with us for a month!

So for me, living abroad is a sacrifice when it comes to relationships.

 

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

After Brazil, South Africa has the second highest rate of C-sections and it is the norm to opt for an elective C. In the province of Johannesburg, the rate is 80%. So when I told the gynaecologist that I wanted a natural birth, he basically told me, TIA baby! (This Is Africa)…”You’re not in Europe, birth is risky here”… That’s the mindset around here, so for many, my choice seemed irresponsible. Thankfully, my husband supported this project and we decided to find a private midwife. We struggled, but eventually we found a great one whom I learned to trust, and I don’t think I would like to give birth with someone else now.

 

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Three things come to me.

First, have it your way! If you feel like the kind of birth you seek is not the norm where you are, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you feel at peace with yourself and the way you bring your child into the world, and that you are empowered by it!

Secondly, develop a network of support. A pregnant woman has a lot of questions/thoughts going on, and it helps so much to simply be able to chat about things. Most of the time, we find answers for ourselves, we don’t need expert advice 🙂 Once we can express all the feelings and emotions, they sort themselves out and it is helpful to have people around to offer some support when feeling tired, or in need of a break -including a break from the baby!

And finally, this last advice was given to me by a friend here and I believe it made a difference for us: make room for your husband to get involved. We, new mothers, all want our new father to help and “get his hands dirty”, but we tend to feel like he’s not doing it as well as he should. So my friend told me to make sure I let him participate freely. Whatever he’s doing, whether he’s changing a nappy or taking a bath with the baby for example, don’t look over his shoulder, rather leave the room and let him do it his way. The nappy may not be perfectly adjusted, or he’s not holding the baby the “right way” and so on, but your lil’ angel will be fine and your husband will gain confidence and bond with his child, and that’s worth the effort.

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: SPAIN

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Having baby in spain

Bibsey Mama and her daughter

Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Bibsey Mama who is British and had her daughter in Spain. Here is her story:

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old is your daughter and where did you have her?

I am a first- time full-time mum living in Southern Spain. My partner and I left the rat race in London and moved here just over two years ago when I was only a few weeks pregnant. My little girl, was born in hospital here in Spain. She is now 19 months old and is a walking, talking and being generally fabulous. We have a lovely life and this is a beautiful country but I do miss family and friends and the support that they naturally provide.

Why did you have your daughter abroad?

I didn’t specifically ‘chose’ to have my child abroad. I found out that I was pregnant a matter of days before we packed up the car and moved to Spain. I do wonder sometimes what we would have done if I had got pregnant a few months earlier. Had there been a bit more time to consider things perhaps we would have stayed put so that I could have had the baby in England. As it was we had both left our jobs, given up our flat, packed about 90% of our belongings off the charity shop and said most of our goodbyes. I don’t think that at the time staying in the UK even occurred to us as an option. I think I am glad that this is how it happened. I am not good with difficult decisions and given more time to think about things I would have been in a right pickle.

The move to Spain was right for us in so many ways. However, my experience of giving birth in hospital here in Spain was not good. And I can’t help but wonder if I would have been any better off in the UK.

What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

The list of benefits to bringing up your children abroad could be as long as your arm and so dependent on the country that you move to of course. Here in Spain children are adored by the whole of society. There are no looks of disapproval if you are out and about with your child even if she is bawling her head off. The Spanish are just incredibly sociable and children are embedded in almost every aspect of life. And breast feeding in public is so accepted here which makes it much easier when it is your first time.

The downside to this is that everyone has an opinion. When my little one was very small I couldn’t leave the house with her without someone coming up to me to tell me that she would be too cold/hot in whatever I had her dressed. After a while I just came to accept this as friendly interest. It was either that or go a little bit mad with the interference.

Other benefits of having kids here in Spain is how much safer and more stable society feels here. The kids play on the street (shame about all the dog poo though) and everyone is looking out for them: older kids; groups of old men who sit around shooting the breeze and watching the world, mothers and their babies go by; and of course the ubiquitous Spanish abuela.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

Truthfully, I felt a little bit small and alone. My Spanish was not that great when I arrived but, as the pregnancy was a bit of a wonderful surprise, I had not imagined that on my arrival in Spain I would have to negotiate midwives appointments, scans, blood tests etc. I felt like I was letting my baby down when I didn’t understand everything that was going on. I wondered at times if we had been incredibly irresponsible to plough on and come here when I was pregnant especially when, at the age of 39, I was considered high risk.

having baby spainDid you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

Regarding the pregnancy and the birth, I am aware that the Spanish system is incredibly procedure-driven and quite invasive in comparison to the UK. The numerous scans towards the end of the pregnancy seem to me to be a kind of interference.

What I do find here is that there is quite a lot of pressure to put your child into guardería (nursery) very early whatever your circumstances. I often find myself justifying to people why, at the the age of 19 months, I haven’t sent Bibsey to guardería yet and don’t intend to for a little while longer. My circumstances allow me to have my child at home with me for a bit longer and I am lucky for that. I don’t judge people who have made different choices. And of course some people don’t have the choices that I do.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

This is a tough one. If language is a problem, then you just have to be brave. I can remember pushing and pushing and pushing the medical professionals to help me understand what was going on and what was expected of me – almost forcing their patience out of the them. Go with your own instinct. Don’t be brow beaten into doing something that you don’t feel is right for you or your child – just as you would in your own country in fact. It’s your body and your child. I have also had a miscarriage here in Spain and I know that there were questions that I should asked but didn’t because I was too shocked and therefore unable to find the words in Spanish.

Oh, and get online, search forums, blogs, expat websites, local activities – find other women in the same boat and go out and meet them. It worked for me. One of my best friends here in Spain is someone I met on a baby website forum. When you are away from ‘home’ you need all the support that you can get.

You can find out more about Bibsey Mama on her Blog, Twitter, and Facebook

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com