Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: CANADA

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Deb who is French and had her daughter in Canada. Here is her story:

having a baby in canada french mother

Deb and Sixtine Charlotte

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old is your daughter and where did you have her?

I am a 27 year-old Parisian French mother of one and I was born and raised in France. I met my husband (Canadian English) in Iceland, Europe in September 2008 and I moved to Prince Edward Island, Canada in July 2010. I got pregnant in February 2011 and gave birth on October 17th, 2011 to a beautiful baby girl named Sixtine Charlotte. She is now three months, 2 weeks and 6 days.

Why did you have your children abroad? What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

I had my daughter in Canada because this is where we live. We are very close to his family and they were very helpful during my entire pregnancy. It would have been nice to share this with my family as well but it wasn’t possible. Fortunately, my mother was able to come visit us both at the beginning and at the end – and was even able to assist to the birth of our daughter.

To be honest, I can’t really say how different it would have been had we lived in France. She was our first baby and I don’t know how it works in France. However, I received excellent care from both my OB-GYN and the Queen Elizabeth Hospital of PEI’s nurses who took care of me during labor and delivery. I feel very thankful for that. According to my mother, there were many different aspects of labor and delivery that surprised her but again, I couldn’t tell.

having baby abroad canadaAs an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

As an expectant mother in Canada,I felt lost and overwhelmed at first. I had preconceived ideas about what would pregnancy be and prenatal care was a lot different than it is in France. I was very stressed during the first few months – I was expecting to be checked and reassured as soon as I got pregnant: Instead I was given a first appointment at the twelve weeks mark. I was also surprised and upset to learn that I wouldn’t be able to know the sex of my baby. We actually had to pay a private clinic for this service. And wait until I was six months pregnant ! In France, it is much earlier than that and it is free of charge. Also I found I didn’t have as much privacy during L&D as I thought I would have.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

don’t like to compare both countries as it makes it sound like I am criticizing and not appreciating my country of residence but this isn’t at all what I am trying to do.

On the other hand, as I mentioned earlier, despite of those “oddities”, I had a great Doctor which made up for it all. At the end of the day, my daughter was born healthy and that is all that really matters to us.

I felt guilty for not breastfeeding long enough. I don’t recall breastfeeding being as massively advertised in France as it is here.
Co-sleeping, and cloth diapering are things that I had never heard of before moving to Canada. In my opinion, it is less popular in France which explain the puzzled reactions in my French entourage. Most mums go back to work after three months in France so co-sleeping isn’t as practical.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

This is your pregnancy, and this is your baby. Listen to your heart and don’t feel that you have to explain yourself on everything. Do what feels right for you. Try not to compare between what things could have been and what things are. Just take the best ! And forget the rest ! I would also recommend the movie “Le Premier Cri” (“The First Cry”) which is a beautiful movie about pregnancy and birth around the world (http://www.disney.fr/FilmsDisney/lepremiercri/) .

Connect with Deb here:

Facebook Sixtine and the little things
Blog Sixtine and the little things
Email Contact me

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

SOCS: Yes! I made something I saw on Pinterest!

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stream-of-consciousness-sunday

Months and months of pinning. Oooh, cool, oooh, pretty, oooh, shiny … yes! I decided to make something I saw on Pinterest! (are you following my pins BTW??)

So, first thing I decided to make was PLAYDOUGH!

Recipe looked so easy …

3 cups of flour
3 cups of boiling water
1 1/2 cups of salt
1TBS Oil
1 TBS cream of tartar
Food colouring as needed.

Easy! Except I read “cream of tartar” as “tartare sauce” and added 3 good tablespoons to my playdough.

My caper-filled Playdough

It worked, smelled funny, and instead of cool sparkles it had a few capers … I guess we can call that a fail!

But I did not give up! I went on to make rainbow rice!

This time it worked and it’s the ONLY things BiP wants to play with now! Yay me!

Rainbow rice

2 cups of rice
Mix in food colour until you have the colour you want
Spread out to dry overnight!
Voila!

(The recipe usually calls for rubbing alcohol to make the colours more vibrant but I was scared BiP would put it in her mouth)

So, what have you made from Pinterest? Did it work?

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Zoe who is British and had her first son in Dubai, UAE and her second in the UK. Here is her story:

having baby abroad dubai united arab emirates UAE

Zoe with Oscar and Jasper

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old are your children and where did you have them?

I moved to Dubai from a previous expat location, The Cayman Islands in the Caribbean. However my husband and I are both originally from Kent, UK.  We lived in Dubai for approximately 3 years before we had our son there.  I now have two sons, Oscar aged 3.3 who was born in Dubai and Jaspar 1.3 who was born in UK.  I had Oscar when I was 32 and Jaspar when I was 34 years old.

Why did you have your children abroad? What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad?

I had Oscar abroad as we were living in that country and flying to the UK would have been very inconvenient due to the fact you would have to fly before 7 months and then you are advised not to fly when the baby is still very tiny which would have meant being away from my husband for quite a few months.  Also you do have to pay in Dubai which my husbands employer covered in their medical insurance.  If they had not it may have been a different story and would have gone back to UK as there it is free!!  The hospitals in the UK all look directly from the 70’s and although they have the medical equipment, because the service is free you cannot have scans etc more than twice throughout your pregnancy.  So when we went to our hospital in Dubai it seemed like a 5 star hotel and as you pay for every service, they are all readily available!

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I felt totally at ease. All I felt was that as long as I had my husband there I would be ok!!  Also, it didnt matter where we were, I was going to be in lots of pain either way!!!

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

I found in general everything was more on the medical side than the natural side but didnt bother me too much as I like ansewrs!! I like 2 and 2 to equal 4, where with pregnancy and birth there is no exact calculation but they made you feel as though there were?!?

One thing that was different was you were weighed constantly and I was told I was gaining too much weight and kept being told the bigger I got the bigger the baby will get and I have to get that baby out somehow so better to try and keep him small. I was put on a diet of no potato, pasta, rice or bread from around 4 months.  At the time it was very difficult but after I hardly gained any weight and went straight back to previous body.

With my second son in the UK I was not weighed and was told it doesnt really matter and I ended up putting on loads of weight and having a huge 4.4kg baby!! So were they right????

Also, in Dubai I was induced at 8 days over due as, again she had estimated he was a big baby, the induction was not really successful and I ended up having a c section – in hindsight I would have said no lets wait the full 14 days over to see if I go naturally – Oscar ended up 3.8kg which is still not small?  I felt there was more interferring in Dubai than in the UK!

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation?

Take the docs advice but still listen to yourself and stick to your guns if you feel strongly about something.

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Searching for Supermum

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stream-of-consciousness-sunday

Let’s see if I can get this out coherently.

I’ve always told my friends that there is no point trying to be supermum, because we are all super. Damn, we made babies inside our bodies – if that’s not a super power, well what the hell is? Really?

The thing is right now is that I’m beating myself up because I can’t do it all.

Yes, I have given up having sparkling floors, and well, the dishes can wait. I’ve even discovered a laundry mountain for the first time in my life. Even letting these things go so I can do more with BiP I still feel out of control.

I want to work, I have to work, I want to be there for BiP, I want to be an amazing wife, an awesome friend, I want to be me.

Guess that’s the issue. After running round trying to please everyone (and not always succeeding) I stop and think, umm, what do I want to do?

When I do grab a few hours to myself I run around doing errands, or working, I’ve forgotten how to have ME time. What did I used to do before I had BiP? It sounds so ridiculous.

Latest “me” time was spent getting waxed … so I could take BiP swimming, hardly relaxing or enjoyable – and off topic, but WHY is there still no permanent solution to hair removal? They can transplant hearts but they can’t remove hair forever?

It’s not the first time I have felt like this, and I know it’s not the last.

I know Supermum doesn’t exist because we are all super.

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: USA

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Shadi who is Iranian but grew up in Dubai and had her daughter in the United States (she’s also expecting her second baby). Here is her story:

iranian expat baby abroad USATell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from? How old is your daughter and where did you have her?

My name is Shadi. I am from Iran. I grew up in Dubai and moved to the States at the age of 19 to peruse my studies. I have been here in the States, South Carolina for 14 years minus a break from living here where I completed my masters in the UK. Ironically, I met my “English” husband in the States so we have all kinds of cultures going on in our household! We have a 3 year old daughter and I had her here in South Carolina, US where we live today.

Why did you have your daughter abroad? What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad? 

Growing up so internationally I didn’t have a specific preference of where I would like to have children. It was going to be where I was living at the time. My daughter is lucky to now have both American and British citizenships. I grew up with an Iranian passport and I know all too well how hard traveling was so I am very happy that my daughter will never experience that. I’m sure there are support groups for moms and women everywhere, there are immensely supportive groups you can find here like the MOMS Club, which I am a part of, I don’t know what I would have done without them being so far away from my family. Women need women, no matter how supportive our husbands are! 🙂

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

I was very lucky to have a smooth pregnancy, I really enjoyed being pregnant. I was also working throughout my pregnancy so that kept me busy. There are so many classes you can choose to take here and if you are looking for support, it is at your doorstep. I was especially surprised at how much emphasis there was on breastfeeding. That was one of the best classes I took, it helped me so much. I ended up breastfeeding for 16 months.

Of course I had the anxieties that any person would have while pregnant, especially being away from my mom, and reading, reading, reading helped a lot, as well as talking to friends and family who have had kids!

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

Not necessary with my pregnancy and of course with parenting, everyone has an opinion! While pregnant, I got great care from the doctors, I went for checkups regularly and towards the end, the visits became more and more frequent because that is what is asked of you.

My biggest issue about having a baby here was the clinical feel of it, there is a protocol and it is what it is. Most doctors treat having a baby like it’s a medical process, get it out, job done. I didn’t feel that connection with my doctors. Yes “doctors,” I was part of a medical group so I had many and whoever was available that day was going to deliver my child although at the end I found out it’s the nurses that do everything anyway!

Also, while I was pregnant, I found out that the typical process that takes place here, is they don’t let you go overdue by much, you will get induced, which is a very painful and rushed labor and therefore, you end up getting an epidural, which ends up in a c-section because you and the baby are absolutely exhausted, guess what? It is exactly what happened to me! However, thanks to my husband, we have good insurance, therefore, I had a large private room to myself, great care and at the women’s hospital I delivered at, there was a nurse that visited me daily to help me with breastfeeding, even bra fitting! I also did get to hold my baby pretty much right away even though I had a c-section, my husband held her next to my head until they were done stitching me up so I had my constant contact until I was able to breastfeed her rolling into our private room.

To be honest, in my opinion, the whole attachment to your birth plan is a 1st time mother thing, once it actually happens, however it happens, all that matters is that you are both healthy.

I would like to add here that I am now pregnant with my second and have chosen a different doctor. This doctor will be the only doctor I will see throughout my pregnancy and he will be the only one delivering my child. I also have the chance to have a natural birth even though I had a c-section 1st time around. The choices are there, you just have to look for them.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation? 

My advice would be, embrace your pregnancy, follow your instinct, listen to your body, do your research, and most importantly, find a support group. Women have been having babies for centuries, where you have your child doesn’t matter, the end result is you and your baby, that is all that matters.

 

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: What did you just call me?

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stream-of-consciousness-sunday

BiP is getting the hang of this language thing … she’s talking more and more which is great fun.

She’s started called Daddy “Papa” or rather “Daddy, Papa” which is a combination of the English and French.

I was “Maman” for a while which I didn’t like, I wanted to be “Mummy” – recently I hear “Mummy, mummy, mummy?” all day, all the time, whether she wants me or not, it’s like automatic noise for BiP!

BUT over the last few days she’ll get frustrated if I don’t respond to her 15 “Mummys” and start calling “Amy!”

“What did you just call me?” I ask

“Amy” followed with a killer smile.

“Umm, yes that’s my name but I’m Mummy” I calmly explain

“<insert incoherant babble> Amy! Amy! Mummy! AAAAMMMY!”

*sigh* that worked.

I don’t know how I feel about being called by my nickname, very few people call me Amy, and it’s only those who are very close to me who do.

Part of me feels like she’ll meet another Amy one day but she’ll only ever have one Mummy …

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

KidzCanDesign Review: Turn your kid’s artwork into jewelry!

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I was so excited when Danny from KidzCanDesign.com emailed me to introduce their website and give me the opportunity to turn one of BiP’s doodles into a necklace.

The KidsCanDesign concept is SERIOUSLY adorable: you send in a scan of your little one’s masterpiece and they transform it into a sterling silver pendant or charm. Cool huh?

KidzCanDesign Review_MummyinProvence

Immediately I raced into BiP’s room to find a drawing to send over. Now, BiP is just over 2 and half years old so finding something figurative was a challenge !

I asked BiP to pick out her “favourite” drawing and she picked this “moon” doodle. I wanted to have a pendant made of a BiP original, not something I’d helped with.

A week later I received this picture of BiP’s drawing transformed into an adorable pendant!

KidzCanDesignReview_MummyinProvence_Photo

When the pendant arrived in the post it was well presented in a nice silver gift box and the pendant itself was on a black rubber necklace with a strong clasp.

The pendant is about 2cms high and it’s got a pretty good weight on it so it definitely feels like a premium piece of adorable bling!

When I showed BiP she said “Look Mummy! Like my moon!”

I can see a few people getting a BiP original transformed into bling for presents in the years to come!

Don’t forget to LIKE KidzCanDesign on Facebook and check out all the other creations they have transformed into jewelry!

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About KidzCanDesign:

KidzCanDesign_LogoKidzCanDesign specialize in converting your child’s work of art into a high quality sterling silver custom jewelry which can then be worn with pride by any member of the family. They can use any of their traditional drawings created on a piece of paper, or an image created using computer software. If they can draw it and you can send it to them and they can then transform those beautiful creations into either a Pendant or Charm for your son, your daughter, or you, the parent, to wear with pride, letting everyone know that it was your child who stands proudly behind this work of art.

(Disclaimer: I was compensated with a necklace in return for this review)

Baby Monitors: What do you think?

1 Reply

You know the dreaded feeling – finally drifting off to sleep before hearing a wail from the nursery.

babymonitor

At first I struggled to fall asleep even when BiP was quiet, because I always had an ear listening out for the smallest whimper from the nursery. Thankfully, my baby list was followed and we we given a baby monitor so I could hear BiP where ever I was. These little cries are extra important when practicing Elimination Communication, so being able to easily keep track of what was happening meant I could have a bit of my life back without losing my mind in the process.

What makes a great baby monitor?

babymonitor2

It’s important to minimise audio interference and static. Poorly made monitors can pick up feedback from cell phones and electronics that share the same frequency, so look for a device with Digital Enhanced Cordless Technology (DECT). This also makes sure you maintain your privacy – with an unprotected analogue device, just as you might accidentally intercept one of your neighbour’s mobile phone calls, someone else could mistakenly tap into your baby monitor feed. The security aspect of not being able to be heard was also important to us!

  • Another useful feature is lights in addition to audio. This way, you can turn the machine on mute if you’re awake and still see the lights when your baby calls. This is extra useful if you don’t want the monitor’s wail to wake anybody up.
  • Battery life is a common concern. Some monitors drain very quickly, so read reviews to find one out that will last through the night.
  • Some monitors have a temperature gauge as a bonus feature – while by no means necessary, this gives you peace of mind that your baby’s room is comfortable. (That is, unless you’re one of those parents who puts their children to sleep in sub-freezing temperatures – although that is a subject for a Global Differences Series article!)
  • The best tip for your search is to consider your unique lifestyle and the size of your home.

I was so happy with the addition of my baby monitor and I hope you all find the right one for you!

What features will be most useful to you during your daily routine?

This a guest post, all images provided by the poster.

Having a Baby Abroad – Global Differences Series: UAE

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Next up in the series of The Global Differences of Baby-Making I talk to Lorraine who is Irish and had her children in the Dubai, UAE. Here is her story:

Tell me a bit about yourself? Where are you from?

Having baby abroad in Dubai

Lorraine is Irish and had her children in Dubai

How old are your children and where did you have them?

I had met my husband and lived in Dubai for around eight years when we found out we were having a baby. I didn’t even consider going home to have the baby, as I was working there in a public relations agency. We considered Dubai as our home. While saying that, a lot of expatriates there do go home for a few months to have their babies. In fact, I worked right up to the day I was brought into hospital, which was a few days before the due date! I was in great form, so was really happy to do that. I had all three children in Dubai, Adam, 9, Leila, 8 and Lara, 5.

Why did you have your children abroad?What do you feel were the benefits to having children abroad? 

My antenatal care was great. There is a big English speaking community there, so there was plenty of support before and after the birth. I found it easy to meet other mums and join groups, which was fun, although obviously I missed my own mother. One great thing about having a baby when you are abroad is that you are creating your own family, that will always be with you.

As an expectant mother abroad how did you feel?

Things were good, but sometimes when I was tired, I missed the support of my mother. I was lucky because I met a group of mums who encouraged me to breastfeed. It was very common there, and I never had any negative reactions. Naturally, I did cover up when I had to feed in cafes etc.

Did you encounter any opinions that would have been different in your home country with regards to your pregnancy or parenting choices?

We went to an Australian midwife for parenting classes beforehand and she warned us that in the public hospital, we would have to be really firm about certain things, eg not wanting an epidural, or episiotomy. She also told us to insist if I wanted to be active during the birth, and also to insist on breastfeeding. I found the hospital staff nice, but in some cases I felt they intervened more than necessary. When I went for a standard check up for my first child, they felt the heart beat was not strong enough, and kept me in, and ended up inducing me. But at the same time they kept giving me meals, which were curries. I was violently sick. On my second child, I didn’t go to hospital until I was quite advanced in labour, partially because I wanted to avoid unnecessary interventions. On my third child, I had to be induced after 12 days. Up to then, my doctor kept trying to get me to be induced, but she did listen whenI said I wanted to wait.

What advice would you give other mothers in your situation? 

Research your options beforehand, and be firm if you can. Make sure your husband knows what you want. Don’t be too upset if the birth doesn’t go as you expected. And make sure to meet lots of other mums. It’s really important to build a support network.

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Want to share your story? Get in touch: ameena@mummyinprovence.com


Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Winter Bugs

3 Replies

stream-of-consciousness-sunday

Firstly, new Stream of Consciousness Sunday button! I’m a bit slow getting on board with it as I’m not a huge fan of change … but I’ve finally done it.

So this week the only thing on my mind is the issue of winter bugs, illnesses.

I am so sick of BiP being ill. It seems like she’s not getting a break.

In the last month it’s been one thing after another.

A cold, an ear infection, then a tummy bug which made her appear like something out the Exorcist, followed with yet another cold, a perpetual visit from the snot monster and now we’re back to a tummy bug.

The worst part is that I feel so helpless. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her catching these bugs but it doesn’t console me.

I think this has to be the worst part of being a parent: watching your child suffer and feel like crap and not be able to take it away.

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This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.